Hi friends

I write so infrequently on this blog that I feel a second introduction is actually necessary.

Hi. I’m Jamie. I’m nineteen and a half, though I’ve gotten both fifteen and twenty-four before. Actually, just a week ago when I appeared in my kitchen with my pajamas, my sister’s tutor asked me if I was her friend. My sister’s twelve. After that, I’ve decided to never wear my pajamas in public ever again.

I’m Korean and all that this entails–you know, like, I eat dog, raw octopus, and enthusiastically advocate plastic surgery.

Just kidding. But I am Korean and barely keep my natural hair color.

I go to Duke University, majoring most likely in Public Policy and History. Do I like it? Yes. Do I miss home? Yes. Do I know where I belong? No. We can definitely meet up and discuss this more in the future.

I care, I love, I laugh, but I can also be the coldest person I know. I have friends who call me Mom, but I also have a friend who calls me “grey” because he says I am the coldest person he knows. My best friend once told me that she doesn’t think I need people, which might be true, but probably not.  I try to love unconditionally. I would say that I’ve never had a problem with forgiveness. Yet I scare myself at how easily I can cut people from my life and decide to stop caring.

I go back and forth from wanting to be older and wanting to be young forever. All through high school, all I wanted was to be seen and treated like an adult. College? Didn’t really need it. If I could speed through my college years, get a job, get married, and settle down, I would have been perfectly happy. Romance? Eh. For a while, I seriously wondered whether I could skip the part with my guy where I have to actually care about looking pretty and dainty and just be comfortable–burping, no makeup, and lazy tv marathons.

There are still times when I want this. I seriously don’t think I belong in this generation. But this time is precious, I’ve realized. College is precious. Youth is precious. I’m never going to have this time again, when people don’t expect me to have it together. Trial and error–mistakes–are actually encouraged. Learning for the sake of learning won’t happen after college. Dating without having to think about all of his real-world conditions, jobs, educational background is…nice.

I also love books and movies (and writing). I can talk about good movies all day and become obsessed about a fictional character for months. Just recently, I’ve been getting into biographies. So actually, I guess I get obsessed about real people (at a distance) for months too.

I also hate the gym, which is why one of my resolutions is yoga-every-morning-haha-but-really.

Yes, I like sad music. Wah, wah, whatever. I’m open to different stuff though.

Lastly, but most importantly, I believe that Jesus Christ is Lord. I have been redeemed. I believe that my life doesn’t end here on earth but that I live for a greater purpose in a vision of eternity. I believe that God loves me, even though I can be pretty ridiculous. My ethical views are basically the Bible, and though I struggle deeply with some of what it says sometimes, I believe that my God knows best. The Gospel is illogical, but it is life-changing. It is everything. Please ask me to talk about my faith because I probably don’t do it often enough.

My name is Jamie, and I’m letting go of all expectations in 2012. Let’s go.